THE UNSPOKEN 30S

THE UNSPOKEN 30S

6/6/18

It seems fitting for me to write my next blog now as I am leading up to a year since I have turned 30! Its been a while since I wrote my last blog as I have been working through some of my own “stuff” lately in my journey of life. Turning 30 for me was such an amazing and interesting time and proves to continue to be, even up until this day of writing this blog, and I am sure it will continue on!

My 30th year has been a roller coaster (a good one), so many ups and downs, super highs and lows.. all of which I am 100% grateful for as it is all so much learning and growth for me. Every day I get to know myself more and more and more. Every day I strip back my “layers” or “ego” thought patterns and beliefs that I have created over the last 3 decades of my life.  I am letting go of what no longer serves who I am or where I want to go in life anymore. This is liberating but also can be a “tough” experience as you realise that what you thought had so much purpose and meaning in your life, actually no longer does. 

I have repeating some major patterns that have been recurring my entire life lately.. some of which are like a punch in the face.. but once again I am grateful for them as they have resurfaced to give me another chance of learning from these pattern so that I can change these pattern and finally move forward in life!

Sometime I must admit I feel a little like I might be going ‘crazy’ the the way I look at the world is changing, the way I see myself is changing, the way I see myself in the world is changing and the “purpose” of my life is also changing…. most of these changing thoughts that I have created are also not complying with what society sees as the “norm”.

This can be confusing at times, as the ego can still jump in and take control, telling me that “you’re almost 31… you should have a partner, house, stable job, be getting married and having kids”…. but my heart is saying “you are happy, keep following your soul, keep following your heart and you know there is way more to life, you know you are on the right path just trust and continue to live life to the fullest and own and love who you are”.

As you can imagine these are two very conflicting thoughts and beliefs. Yes I do want a family one day, it is a major value of mine to meet a man I can share my life with, to help each other grow, to learn, adventure, to love each other unconditionally, to be my best friend, my lover and father of our kids. Yes I want to raise some epic little humans, teach them all I know and teach them to make the world a better place, to respect themselves and the world. BUT I know that I don’t have to have this RIGHT now and if it never happens I am still happy with who I am, my life is AMAZING and as long as I keep following my heart and soul purpose and what makes me happy I WILL BE HAPPY and all will be as it should be. 

Even just writing this right now, it can be confusing! Not going to lie. My conscious mind knows the “truth” but my unconscious mind/ego can still plant doubt and fear in my mind. I have however through time, now learnt that when my “ego” thought injections start to interfere I need to pull myself back to the NOW… instead of getting sad, anxious, fearful etc that it may never happen (looking into the future), or worry “what is wrong with me?” I now have the AWARENESS of SELF to acknowledge and change these thought patterns, bring myself back to the NOW and back to my heart, back to connecting to myself and what lights me up.

I take the time to connect to my SOUL daily, my SELF, my I AM.. whatever you want to call it. By connecting to my soul it is a daily reminder to follow my heart, to surround myself with people and things and places that are in TRUE alignment of who I am and what I want in life. When I am in TRUE ALIGNMENT, life is fucking epic, life flows and I am filled with so much TRUST and HAPPINESS, I feel FULFILLED in my life just the way it is and know that all is as it is meant to be right now! 

If you are nearing your 30s or around this age and you can resonate with what I am saying then I want to assure you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you are questioning who you are, if you are questioning your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values and those of society too, if you are questioning your purpose, the meaning of life, if you are questioning where you “should be” at this age… YOU ARE NOT ALONE and you are not going crazy!!

A friend I caught I with this week who is also in her 30s is going through the same thing. We were discussing our lives openly and found it so refreshing to know that we are not alone!!!

She then continued to tell me about this thing called “Saturn Returns”… An astrological time that signifies HUGE change in your life. She told me that this will help me make sense of my thoughts and feelings of late and to research it…. so that I did!!

What is Saturn Returns?

The “highlights only” version is that it is a crisis that will put you face-to-face with your deepest fears. Everything you thought you wanted comes into question, as you realise you are not who, what or where you want to be.

The longer, more elaborate version: This is the astrological period of our life when the planet Saturn completes its orbit around the Sun, coinciding with the time of our birth. It happens every 29.5 years, so if you have skated by in your late 20s, this period could get you in your late 50s. Now’s the time to get prepared!

** to read on for the elaborate version, head to https://www.huffingtonpost.com/shannon-kaiser/saturn-returns_b_4275974.html

We both strongly agreed that more women should speak about this time and know about this time! Just like post-natal depression, womens menstrual cycles and menopause this significant event and time in our lives should be outwardly and shamelessly discussed (note-this does happen to men, but usually before they turn 60). I personally wish that I knew about this a year ago, even that I got taught about this at school. Exactly around my 30th Birthday I can strongly recall these thoughts and feelings starting to come to me. 

Just before my 30th Birthday last year I quit my job as a PT, moved to Bali for 3 months, completed my Yoga Teacher Training Course and my NLP Course and in that time I had no money, I made no money I came back with a 12k credit card debt BUT I also came back a completely different woman!! This is something that I cannot put a price on!!!!

The belief of who I was before my “mini sabbatical” was completely transformed during my amazing time that I had created in my life to reflect and connect to myself, my true self. 

Upon return back to my life in Perth I felt very unsettled and unaligned with my life there, I began to question more about my purpose of life, if Perth was for me still, who I was…. also where I was in my life. I was 30, no house, no partner, and basically starting my work from scratch.. oh and a massive credit card debt (which I did manage to pay off in 3 months super fast from some of my epic goal setting visualisations and manifestation techniques but that is another story! You can take part in one of these during a variety of my workshops, so head to my SHOP page to find one if you want to become a manifestation Queen/King). My life seemed from an outsider who who's thought patterns were conforming with what society sees as the “norm” may have thought my life was falling apart, maybe that I was still a kid,  I was a “free spirit”, or may have even felt sorry for me for where I was in life…..others may have seen me as an inspiration!

I personally wouldn’t have had my life any other way!! I can honestly say that my time away, my time to inwardly reflect, what I believe was the start of my “Saturn Return” was actually one of the best things that I have done in my life and the best time in my life!!

I had started to remove what no longer served me, what no longer lit up my heart and soul. I let go of my job, let go of my home, let go of money…. it was a BIG risk and it was all the unknown, I was fearful but I was also courageous and trusting, and that all paid off!

I am now living in a new country (New Zealand) and this move was also part of letting go of what no longer served me, I felt deep down it was time to move on form Perth and even though it was hard to leave loved ones behind I knew it was the right thing to do. So here I am living in a new country, once again starting a fresh with my career, making new friends and also once again being courageous and trusting all is perfect!!

The article link that I posted above has 5 great tips that I also recommend when it comes to “dealing” with your Saturn Returns, but I believe it can also apply to your life at any time you are feeling confused about who you are, the world and where you are and the world. 

My favourite tip that I continue to remind myself of daily and to practise daily in my life is:

Release Resistance

Let go of the “When it happens, I will be happy,” or saying to yourself that “I should be farther along in life than I am now.” During this period of your life, you want to reflect on your own journey. Do your best not to compare yourself to anyone else.

Remember that it’s never too late, ever, to be the person who you are really supposed to be. The pain, depression and turbulence in our lives often come when we hold on to patterns, beliefs, jobs, relationships lifestyle choice, and environments that no longer serve us. Letting go and releasing your resistance to the unknown will help you glide into the next phase of your life.

Remember that Saturn Returns reminds us of what is truly important, and makes sure we are on the path to claim our highest potential.

I could not have put this better myself!!

When I connect to my Soul and reflect upon my life right now and think about how far I have come, it makes me feel pretty damn EPIC!!! I feel so grateful and I literally can feel my heart expand and fill with love. I feel so blessed with my journey, I feel so blessed where I am in life, I feel so blessed with the woman I am right now, I feel so blessed for my “awakening” even though at times it can be a hard slog, as it literally is a wake up call, making you see things as they are.. no more rose coloured lenses.. you see life as it truely is, people as they truely are, the world and situations as it truely is and most importantly you see YOU as YOU TRUELY ARE. 

I ask you, as I am doing myself to ALWAYS stay TRUE to who you are and to the life YOU want to lead… not who you think ‘everyone else’ wants you to be and not living the life ‘everyone else’ thinks you should. BE STRONG AND CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE AND TRUST AND HAVE FAITH THAT YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH.

Always remember life is beautiful and see the joy in THE NOW, as all we ever have is the now.

I can honestly and whole heartedly say I love who I am and I love my life as it is RIGHT NOW and I can honestly say that my 30th year has been the best years of my life so far, and I truely look forward to what is to come, but for now I simply enjoy the now, just as you should too! 

With love and light,

Mandy xxxx